Quran Commentary 2.10 — Guidance for Family Life and the Dignity of Women (2:187; 2:213–239)

Quran 2:187

187. It has been made permissible for you the night preceding fasting to go to your wives [for sexual relations]. They are a clothing for you and you are a clothing for them. Allāh knows that you used to deceive yourselves, so He accepted your repentance and forgave you. So now, have relations with them and seek that which Allāh has decreed for you [i.e., offspring]. And eat and drink until the white thread of dawn becomes distinct to you from the black thread [of night]. Then complete the fast until the night [i.e., sunset]. And do not have relations with them as long as you are staying for worship in the mosques. These are the limits [set by] Allāh, so do not approach them. Thus does Allāh make clear His verses [i.e., ordinances] to the people that they may become righteous. ^*

The Embrace Gives Benefit Beyond Frequent Completion

The verse is true.

I will say something that many may smile at and ignore, while the wise may receive benefit from it.

The final completion of intimacy between a man and a woman should not occur too frequently. Frequent full intimacy weakens the strength of both partners.

The true benefit is not in frequent completion, but in the embrace. It is the embrace that gives special benefit to the bodies of husband and wife through the energy sphere of the organism.

Through warmth, tenderness, and restraint, the body is strengthened and balance is preserved.

Moderation in intimacy is not repression. It is discipline — and discipline preserves strength.

Quran 2:213–214

213. Mankind was [of] one religion [before their deviation]; then Allāh sent the prophets as bringers of good tidings and warners and sent down with them the Scripture in truth to judge between the people concerning that in which they differed. And none differed over it [i.e., the Scripture] except those who were given it – after the clear proofs came to them – out of jealous animosity among themselves. And Allāh guided those who believed to the truth concerning that over which they had differed, by His permission. And Allāh guides whom He wills to a straight path.

214. Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said, “When is the help of Allāh?” Unquestionably, the help of Allāh is near. ^*

Allah Expects People to Act

These verses are true. Yet many misunderstand them.

People wait for help from Allah as if it must descend from the sky in visible form. They expect signs, leaders, and events that will resolve confusion and suffering.

But the Almighty does not build a better world in place of humanity. He does not remove corruption, division, injustice, and cruelty while some people create them, and others remain passive — praying, waiting, and expecting Him to punish the guilty and resolve the disorder that human beings themselves continue to allow.

His help is always present — through the voice of conscience within each of you.

The prophets were not sent merely to be honored. They transmitted covenants. To fulfill those covenants means to act — not to wait for new confirmations, not to hide behind hope, and not to expect Allah to do your work in your place.

Quran 2:215

215. They ask you, [O Muḥammad], what they should spend. Say, “Whatever you spend of good is [to be] for parents and relatives and orphans and the needy and the traveler. And whatever you do of good – indeed, Allāh is Knowing of it.”

True Giving Begins with Care for Those Nearest to You

This is a marvelous verse, because it comes from conscience.

True giving is not a transaction with heaven. It is not a display of piety. It is the natural movement of a heart that understands responsibility. Care begins at home — with parents and those nearest to you. It extends outward — to those who lack protection and stability.

Whatever good is done is known. Not because it is recorded in a ledger, but because it shapes the soul.

Quran 2:219–220

219. They ask you about wine and gambling. Say, “In them is great sin and [yet, some] benefit for people. But their sin is greater than their benefit.” And they ask you what they should spend. Say, “The excess [beyond needs].” Thus Allāh makes clear to you the verses [of revelation] that you might give thought

220. To this world and the Hereafter. And they ask you about orphans. Say, “Improvement for them is best. And if you mix your affairs with theirs – they are your brothers. And Allāh knows the corrupter from the amender. And if Allāh had willed, He could have put you in difficulty. Indeed, Allāh is Exalted in Might and Wise.”

Alcohol and Gambling Corrupt the Family and the Will

There is no true benefit in intoxicating drinks or gambling. Their so-called benefit is a bait placed before human weakness.

Even a small amount of alcohol consumed by a woman must not be treated as harmless. It can affect the level and condition of the child who may come through her, even if alcohol was consumed long before conception. A man must also take responsibility long before becoming a father. He should stop drinking alcohol years before conceiving a child, because the life of a future child is shaped not only at the moment of conception, but by the condition, discipline, and purity of both parents.

I rejoice for the majority of Muslims who do not consume alcohol. And I grieve for those nations where the dead are remembered with a glass of alcohol on the table.

Do not place alcohol on the memorial table. Those who come should come to honor the deceased and to support the family of the deceased — not to drink. And those who would not come if there is no alcohol on the table are not worthy of standing near the loved ones of the departed.

Gambling cultivates greed and indifference toward the one who loses. A weak person may lose money that was meant for medicine for his mother, his child, or another loved one. Gambling teaches people to rejoice over another person’s fall.

Both alcohol and gambling are traps given by the fallen, using human ignorance and weakness. Drive these temptations away from yourselves. Freedom requires sobriety, discipline, and strength of will.

Quran 2:221–223 — When Religious Wording Degrades Woman’s Dignity

221. And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allāh invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses [i.e., ordinances] to the people that perhaps they may remember.

222. And they ask you about menstruation. Say, “It is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation. And do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves, then come to them from where Allāh has ordained for you. Indeed, Allāh loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.”

223. Your wives are a place of cultivation [i.e., sowing of seed] for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allāh and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers.

A Woman Is Not a “Place of Cultivation” to Be Used

A woman is not a “place of cultivation” to be approached whenever and however a husband wishes. She is not a piece of land, not a household object, not something a man uses when he feels like it.

Not Everything Written in Sacred Texts Is Sacred

If distorters had added to a sacred text permission to trade one’s wife, there would still be fools who would do so and call even such words holy. This is how blind reverence works when conscience is asleep.

In the Old Testament, in Genesis 12–21, the story of Abraham and Sarah depicts a husband behaving like a pimp, handing over his wife for material gain. Here, too, woman’s dignity is lowered, and she is treated as if she were a “place of cultivation” to be used. To call such words sacred without moral examination is contempt toward the daughters of the Almighty.

Woman Deserves Honor as Mother, Daughter, Sister, and Guardian of Life

Woman is the mother who gave birth to you. She is your sister, the mother of your children, your wise grandmother, your companion, the one through whom generations continue. To degrade her is to degrade life itself.

The status of woman has been pulled downward in two opposite directions: on one side into extreme religious coverings, seen in parts of the Muslim world, that erase her human presence by leaving only her eyes visible, and on the other into depraved and vulgar fashions that strip away modesty and femininity. Fallen forces use both extremes to weaken women, weaken men, and weaken the traditions that once protected nations.

The same distorters allow such ideas to enter what people call sacred books. Was Muhammad not warning against this very danger? Yet many people fear questioning immoral passages because they have been taught to treat every inherited line as holy.

Distortions are inserted to keep nations at a low spiritual level: “If it is permitted in Scripture, then I may go to the ‘place of cultivation’ however I wish.” Such thinking is not holiness. It is spiritual blindness.

The Almighty created men stronger in body and mind so they would be protectors. He created women stronger in patience and reason so they would be guardians of the home. These strengths were not given for humiliation, but for harmony, responsibility, and protection.

Honor women for their patience, for their immeasurable love for your children, and for your own birth. Maternal love is the highest earthly feeling. All women of the world have one primary nationality: mother.

When Men Refuse to Be Protectors, Families and Nations Are Weakened

A woman often tries to stop conflict because even when she looks at an enemy, she sees him through the image of his mother. Today, across the world, many of those who try to stop wars and other injustices are women, while too many men remain silent in cowardice, watching on television to see which team will score a goal, as their own children eat GMO food, lose clarity of mind and reason, become morally corrupted, and become spiritually degraded while staring into iPhones.

I will say it plainly: if such fathers are one day marked with microchips and reduced to rightless cattle, then they will have received what they chose for themselves — because they already live like animals that have chosen the path into dust.

When men abandon protection, they abandon their own dignity. When women are degraded, nations are weakened. When sacred texts are read without conscience, distortion becomes a weapon against the family, against woman, and against the future of humanity.

Quran 2:224–225

224. And do not make [your oath by] Allāh an excuse against being righteous and fearing Allāh and making peace among people. And Allāh is Hearing and Knowing.

225. Allāh does not impose blame upon you for what is unintentional in your oaths, but He imposes blame upon you for what your hearts have earned. And Allāh is Forgiving and Forbearing.

A Thoughtless Oath Can Make a Person Its Prisoner

This is a wise verse.

An oath binds a person to the fulfillment of what was promised. But if a person later realizes that the promise was made without reason, he may discover that he has made himself a hostage of his own oath.

Do not use sacred words thoughtlessly. Do not bind yourself in foolishness and then call it holy. Wisdom requires restraint before speaking, and honesty after speaking.

An oath is not a decoration of speech. It is responsibility.

Quran 2:238–239

238. Maintain with care the [obligatory] prayers and [in particular] the middle [i.e., ʿaṣr] prayer and stand before Allāh, devoutly obedient.

239. And if you fear [an enemy, then pray] on foot or riding. But when you are secure, then remember Allāh [in prayer], as He has taught you that which you did not [previously] know.

Prayer Is Sincere Only When Covenants Are Lived

This is a true verse.

Yet the benefit is not in the number of daily prayers alone, but in the sincerity of prayer. Time must be given not only to prayer, but also to entering deeply into the sacred text, understanding it, and living according to the covenants transmitted through the prophets.

I do not fully agree with the idea that prayer must be performed only by a strict schedule. Yet there is benefit in such discipline: by following a structure, a person can grow in willpower and in respect toward the Almighty.

But if the covenants of the Almighty, given through the prophets, are not fulfilled, then prayer becomes obedience to a rule rather than a living desire to honor the Almighty.

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* The text of the Quran is quoted from the Surah Al-Baqarah – 1-286 – Quran.com (Translation by Saheeh International) ↑ back